Whole Foods' Bar Is About to Be My New Play.
Was making my weekly trip to Whole Foods the other day. Don’t let the optics of this visit fool you. I’m not a bajillionaire. Just a crafty Whole Foods shopper who roams around with price and savings heavy on his mind. Couple bananas, some lunch meat, coffee, bag of individually wrapped farm-raised salmon.
During every Whole Foods trip, every time I walk past the bakery and eye the vast array of desserts. I always think to myself, “How sick would it be to just have an absolute sesh and crush half of these fuckers.” Slices of cake, macaroons, cookies, god that would be amazing. This day was different though… Yeah, I had my weekly dessert visualizations, but I also had one about the bar.
Yeah, the Whole Foods bar. For some reason, I’ve been glazing over the fact that Whole Foods has a bar where you can crush actual beers. Maybe it was a subconscious effort to not fall for the “cool, hip” grocery store look and vibe they’re clearly going for. “You guys respect craft beers. I get it.” My inner cynic never let a flow of thoughts transpire around the fact that an extremely popular chain grocery store has a bar.
As I was waiting in line to check out, I looked over at the bar and saw myself sitting in a high-top chair eyeing the different drafts available. Nobody in a 15-foot radius of me. Glowing with a calm, confident aura.
Maybe it’s a post-beer, maybe it’s a pre-beer. Little Hazy to help you focus on the shop ahead. Little Kolsch to celebrate another cross out on your to-do list. Maybe a little both? Get the shopping gears turning with a quick pint. Follow it up with a “good for me, I bought food for the week” victory flight.
Then it hit me, “You don’t even need to shop.” Could just roll up and rip a Pizza Port Chronic in peace. I mean, I never see anyone over there. Catch up on some text messages, look at flights for an upcoming trip, or tuck the phone away and just straight people-watch.
Now I’m fully into it. “Yeah, this is going to be my new play.” Another light bulb, “The snack and food selection is unstoppable.” Drinking beer at a bar and not confined to chicken wings, burgers and fries. Now don’t get me wrong, I dig classic bar eats just as much as the next guy, but I’ve never paired a draft IPA with an appetizer sampler consisting of cucumber noodles, butter chicken and meatballs. Crush a fresh apple. Build up enough courage to finally buy a bunch of those desserts.
“Excuse me… which craft ale do you think pairs best with this cherry cheesecake?”
Just have a sesh!
- Bobby D