Had a Pretty Chill Interaction With the Jacked Guy at the Gym and Felt Pretty Good About It.
The hierarchy at the gym is pretty simple: the bigger you are, the more weight you pull, literally and metaphorically. Now sure, you probably guessed it, I’m pretty high up there. Not really, although I’m fascinated with the idea of jumping on gear. Just for shits and gigs ya know. Head back east for a family function, absolute behemoth. “Damn. Bobby must be doing his pushups!”
I’d say I’m in the 70 percentile at the gym I work out at. I know what I’m doing, have solid etiquette, clearly hammer beers on the weekend, but will push (or pull) a set to failure with the best of em’.
The other day I’m rippin’ the ab crunch machine. I wasn’t planning on using it; some guy was taking forever on the calf machine, so I went to a nearby spot to keep an eye on him. Behind me, there’s another ab crunch, and I could feel the top of the food chain, most jacked, 100th percentile guy’s aura just straight BEAMING to my 6. Over some “Pixies” or whatever the hell I was listening to, I could hear another guy ask Mr. Olympia if he could work in. Wild strategy, fuckin’ Sam Sulek was putting on a clinic. Could hear him straight rippin’ his first set to failure. Maybe I’m glazin’ too hard, but feel like super yokomotive guys have earned solo machine rights. Anyway, the calf machine guy gets up. I hurry through my set. Stand up, wipe down the machine. Scwarzenagger was on deck, he sees me, hard eye contact, does a quick point. I already know what he’s asking. I give him a quick couple nods and a soft thumbs up.
I’m sure everyone in the gym noticed. Could sense some 71, 75 and 77 percentile peeps tighten with envy. “He’s jumped the ranks,” they whisper. I usually stick to myself when I’m getting my pump on, but anytime there’s an interaction with someone, I try to be as nice and friendly as possible. Not anymore. Not in the 85th percentile.
- Bobby D
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